The Heart's Shadow Known as Love
by NikZkinE
Summary: [Slash] "It was a childish whimsical wish, simple and naive and utterly foolish... I knew this and my reality..." a breath and a tear. "...how can I let myself love such a dark man... such a dark heart..." a broken sob. "...Why did I love you, Sebastian...?" a broken voice, a broken heart.
1. Ciel

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"It's snowing…" a whisper fell from pale quivering lips. Dead crimson eyes stared blankly at the gray skies.

'_Cold…'_ the thought passed idly at his mind, forgotten as soon as it's gone.

Dull blood red pools of eyes stared back at him as he gazed emptily at his reflection on one of the many window displays on the busily buzzing street.

'_How long have I been wandering…?'_ he thought with a purpose as he let light bled through his eyes, mind taking control of his limbs.

A step to his left, he turned his body to face the street, blinking as he surveyed a world, to him a stranger. Cars, phones against people's ears, and peculiar clothing; he took it all in and staggered coming to rest his back onto the window display he had perused his reflection on.

'_I've slept for this long…?' _his mind panicked at the unfamiliar scenery but relaxed as memories flashed through him.

'_Two hundred years?'_ he nurtured the thought leaning away from the wall of glass and turned to look at himself again.

'_Is this me…?'_ he thought in passing looking over himself, tilting his head some as he does so.

He brought a pale hand to his hair tugging softly at the tips of the almost shoulder length green tinted black hair. _'I'd remembered them shorter' _he mused caressing his cheeks that shed all childlike qualities and made way for a femininely masculine face. Wide eyed he poked and prodded at his face. _'I look older…'_ he thought to himself a little thrilled at the discovery.

Eyes narrowing he moved paces away from the glass and noticed his body. Gone was the slight build from his childhood. He now had the build of a young man; albeit a feminine young man, yet a _man_ nonetheless.

He smiled a broken yet still beautiful smile and looked forlornly at himself. _'Decidedly, it is painful watching behind my eyes as the world go on without a look back at me.' _He thought, bitter regret tingeing at his tone.

A small rasped chuckle left his lips as he whirled and eyed the world. "So much had changed…" he whispered to himself, awed at how fast humans advanced in time.

He smiled watching as a small child walked hand and hand with his father feeling a small tug of envy from the scene. He watched them walked further down the street, stopping in front of a tall man who bent down and heaved the child to his shoulder before straightening and leaning down to place a kiss on the smaller man's lips.

He smiled softly at the intimate scene before pausing backtracking and replaying what happened with saucer-wide eyes.

"EH?!" he bellowed snapping both hands over his mouth as he found the whole street's attention on him. He ducked and hid his face in embarrassment as he moved to hide in an alleyway.

He breathed out a sigh as he patted his heated cheeks leaning against a wall. "I need to synchronize with my memories if I am to live in this era now…" he mulled over sliding down in a crouch and retreating in himself, reliving all two hundred worth of memory.

.

Blinking his eyes he found himself tied, gagged and blindfolded. Mentally sighing as well as chuckling to himself, he thought. _'Still nice to know some things never change…'_

Surveying his surroundings he found he wasn't alone in this predicament. A handful of teens and some, younger, are all restrained within a cage of some sort with him. Some guards are posted by the nearest exit and some are near the cage.

'_Four…' _he thought lightly as he tested his binds and laughed to himself for doing so. There were no binds that can restrain a demon, at least no 'human' binds.

Swiftly and silently he freed himself from his bonds, discretely tugging at his blindfold to assess the situation. Three guards are asleep, both from the door and one by the cage; the other busily taking a quick pleasure from one of the teens as he pounded on the small boy of twelve, he suspect.

Shrugging at the boys' muffled cries of pain he swiftly freed himself from the binds on his feet and the disgusting gag around his mouth. He stood, finding the ceiling low. With a swift wave of the hand the metal bended upon itself and made for an exit. He stepped through and moved his hand again in a wave and all the captive's binds were released as well as the gag of the boy the other guard was enjoying himself with.

A flurry of movement happened in a flash at the moment the assaulted child could speak. He groaned in a pained angry voice waking the three guards up. They drew their weapons while the other tucked 'himself' in. The demon raised a hand and waved it lazily and suddenly the three guards are on the ground drowning in their own blood as they struggle to live.

Pants wetted with urine and other 'fluids', the last guard stood shaking as he stared wide eyed at the demon who looked at him blankly before moving towards the boy on a what seemed to be a desk. He paused tilting his head a tug of familiarity itching at the back of his mind. He surveyed the room and found his eyes widening at what he saw.

The study of the mansion he had used two hundred years ago. Admittedly, many of the furniture had changed but he knew the room even when stripped bare from what it was two centuries ago.

A manic grin spread on his lips as a wave of memories flooded onto his mind. The mansion that held both pain and happiness to him still stands to this day. _'The past should be buried if there's no lesson to be learned.' _The thought echoed clearly through his mind making him smile.

"There's nothing left here but memories to be forgotten…" words tumbled from his lips in a silent whisper as moved and eyed the still terrified man cowering in the corner of the room.

He raised his hand and drew it in a line, nine o'clock to three. A heavy thud echoed through the room as a severed head fell from the man's body. There were collective gasps and horrified shrieks of terror. The sound didn't escalate into anything louder with one look from the demon.

Bored gaze was all he gave the cowering youths. He parted his cracked lips and wetted them with an equally dry tongue before inquiring. "Death or Life…" he stated simply looking at them collectively. "I am not kind, merely fair…" he said facing his whole body towards the group of teens. "I am giving you a chance to choose, whether you wish to live or you wish to die." He continued, flicking a finger making one of the heavy chairs in the room move towards him. He then sat gracefully onto the velvet settee. "Which is it?" he asked crossing his legs and leaning his chin onto his knuckles as he stared at them in boredom.

The child on the table staggered onto his feet glaring down at the demon with hurt and anger scorching through his eyes. "I want to live! To live and to kill everyone who had done this to me! I want them to taste the same pain and suffering I've tasted!" the boy shouted body trembling in anger as he stared at the demon with burning scorn written in the fiber of the human's soul.

A grin tugged the demon's lips into a sneer as he stared at the pentagram being painted at the boy's feet. He had an idle thought of how the pentagram of his demon looked like when he had unknowingly called for him.

Fascinated he watched as the boy's eyes glazed until he fell in a heap onto the ground and most likely conversing with the summoned demon in his mind.

He waited only a second for the contract to be made and a sweeping gust of wind headed towards him. There were screams of agony from the back of his mind as he merely flicked a finger and the gust of wind split and disappeared completely. Blinking, he watched as something materialized beside the boy.

"Teal…" He called, amusement lacing his cold monotone.

The form moved and materialized in a sort of grotesque version of a human. It tilted its head and gave a toothy grin towards the seated demon. The form tilted its head in acknowledgement before turning to the boy and helping him up to his feet.

The boy fluttered his eyes open and immediately a sense of déjà vu washed over the demon as he saw the intricate Gaelic Faustian contract on the child's eye in a golden gleam. Frost quickly covered the child's normal brown eyes as he spotted the seated demon. "You said you'd destroy them all!" the child bellowed as he glared at the kneeling demon.

"As much as he would like to, he cannot kill me…" the seated demon spoke in a cold voice as he moved to stand. "I am not who you seek to kill." he said simply before turning and headed for the door. "Finish your business here as fast as you can, I am not patient."

.

The setting sun burned against the darkening sky; a fitting backdrop to a burning mansion that is two centuries too late to become a ruin and stay as such. He watched unmoving as the whole building burn into oblivion and stayed as such even when given a tap from the other demon.

"We are leaving, would you care to join us?" Teal announced with voice as cold and dark as the other.

Staring at the now contracted demon wearing the guise of a human, he smiled and said. "Seems like it's a whole lifetime long before this contract's end is it, Teal?" he asked facing the other and moving to walk over to the seated boy on a stump of wood.

"Yes, a very long while still before his wish is fulfilled…" Teal answered with an exhausted sigh earning a chuckle from his companion.

"Luck is at your side then; a good distraction is hard to come by…" the other amusedly replied.

"Accompany me then?" Teal asked almost pleadingly.

The other paused and looked over to his fellow demon and shrugged. "A while is all I can promise, and then I want to see this new world I missed…" he said flippantly stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Teal nodded and gave a broken smile, the only kind they can give, and moved along ahead. They walked further and closer to the boy when Teal spoke. "He still searches…" he said softly but was heard nonetheless by the other, now still, demon. "He hurts…" he added that earned him a snort making him whirl around to face the other. "He does…" he said voice steeled in determination which was only replied by a dull look.

"Demon, I have been one for two centuries and some, and yet, I still can't grasp your kind's logic…" he stated in a bored tone before turning on his heel and walking away. "…on second thought, I'd visit sometime instead, good luck with this contract, Teal."

"I speak the truth!" Teal called out which the other waved at him for. "Ciel!" he called louder which only reached deafened ears as the other disappeared from sight.

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**A/N: Okay! We all know I don't own Kuroshitsuji and all that, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah…**

**Warnings!  
>Yaoi <strong>_**of course;  
><strong>_**Smut, just a tiny-tinsy-bit, who am I kidding…;  
>Language, always the bad language of course;<br>**_**My**_** lvl of humor, which is not much…;  
>EMOness (yes it is a word, for me…);<br>aaaaaaaaaaaaand!  
>The occasional grammar mistakes here and there… <strong>

**Well now dah~rl'ngs I will see you in the next chapter…**

**And do drop a review for me yes~ hmm~?**

**See you soon then, ta, ta!**


	2. Choke

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"If you'd state your full name for the record so we could begin…" a Blonde woman said in a soft manner.

_What an uncanny resemblance to 'mother'…_ Ciel thought idly as he stray his gaze blankly outside the window of the white room.

Everything was silent and not a word was exchange between the two as the raven prolonged his answer. A few more minutes past and still the woman didn't pry.

_I guess I'll humor her…_ he thought as he gazed back at the woman with eyes blank and dead as ever.

"Ciel…" he said simply biting back the conditioned response of stating his surname soon after.

"…May I ask you of your surname?" she nodded as she wrote down the information he gave.

"Yes you may, but I do not have such a thing…" he said smoothly then strayed his eyes back towards the window and absently watched the tranquil scene of the hospital courtyard.

Again, he heard the telltale sound of the scribbling of the pen against paper. His mind drifted through the other noise in the room and noted seventeen little sounds all around him.

"Please state you're birth parent's name…" the woman instructed.

He was tempted to tell her it was her in her past life but shook off the thought. "I do not know of them…" it was the truth; they never did live long enough for him to get to know them as a person. They were ever only an existence that was labelled as his 'father' and 'mother'.

"Can you state the address of where you are currently residing in?" she asked on as she wrote his previous answer.

"I do not have any…" he said simply almost flatly as he continued on with his little observation within the room, ignoring the piercing gazes of the two policemen that sat on a settee adjacent of his and the lady in white's seats.

"You have no home?" the woman asked in a different tone than with her other questions earning a passing glance from the raven.

"…I lost it…" he paused recalling the glowing red eyes of a certain dark man. "…a long time ago…" he trailed, pursing his lips slightly in a grimace at the memory of the man.

Silence reigned over the room and the woman scribbled a few more words at her board.

"If you'd please state your age…" the woman said in a somber voice earning an intrigued look from Ciel.

He parted his lips and thought swiftly of the matching age of his appearance. "…Sixteen…" he stated and promptly regretted it, recalling a tad bit late that such an age was under the legal age of being an 'adult' thus having him fall under the 'care' of the state.

"I see…" the woman smiled at him as if relieved. "…thank you for being honest." She said with a sweet smile then continued on. "…with you being a minor, the state will provide for you when you completed all the small details of your identity, do you really not know of your parents?" she asked incessantly.

"…They died before I got to know them other than 'mother' and 'father'…" he said unable to help himself as he looked into the eyes of the woman he once called as his mother. "…I only ever knew of their names when they call each other affectionately…" he explained further when the two officers grunted lowly, displeased. "…James and Rachel…" He supplied, earning a silent huff, relieved from the two men in the room.

One of the two grunted and stood, moving towards the door when Ciel spoke, eyes again on the view outside the window. "…There won't be any records of them." He stated making the man pause. "…not when they were forgotten by the 'state' you serve…" He said, vaguely implying of them being unregistered citizens of the slums.

"I'll adopt him." The woman said suddenly, earning two startled looks and a curious ear.

"…Ma'am, you're still young and unmarried, adopting such a grown child would burden-" the other standing man tried to intervene but was silenced by a piercing glare from the woman.

Huffing in amusement, Ciel stood in eerie grace. "…I've taken care of myself as a child and I'll continue to do so, on my own, I don't need anyone 'taking care' of me…" he said, spitting out the words with false disgust and moving for the door but was blocked by the standing officer.

"Believe it or not kid but the state is doing what it can to take care of its people… they've implemented programs on registering unregistered citizens and we as well have been doing our best to give them homes they could call their own decades ago…" the seated officer said in a sigh which Ciel answered with forced mirthful snort.

_Acting out emotions is so much harder now…_ he idly noted before trying to pass the officer blocking him without causing the man harm.

"…I only slept on the street once, it's not like I can't get the money to stay somewhere better…" he scoffed earning a groan from the two men.

"…that is not the issue here kid." The seated one groaned out massaging the bridge of his nose in a show of annoyance. "…No decent establishment will hire an underage kid that doesn't have a consent letter and a fuckin birth certificate to show…" the man gritted out. "…so please tell me exactly _how_ will you acquire money to rent a room to even the shittiest motel in town?" the man asked aggressively.

Shrugging, the raven gave the man a disinterest look. "There are plenty of people who hire a 'kid' with no legal attachment to do a job…" he said as a matter of fact that earned him a slap on his left cheek.

Ciel nursed the cheek and pulled back the instinct to return a hit as he gingerly touched the reddened skin having a little trouble at holding back his body's conditioned response to heal the hurt.

He looked up at the woman who looked livid before 'ashamedly' looking down at the floor.

"You're being offered a better future to get you out of that life you've been living in…" the woman said with a hard tone. "…aren't you sick of being called names that degrade you as if you're not human?" the woman asked, agitated.

_Never been one in two centuries and some…_ Ciel thought amused.

"It doesn't change a thing…" he said instead. "They can call me what they want, look at me with disgust, I don't care…" he gritted out in false anger. "I don't care because I know I'm not any of those words they throw me, I know I've never sink so low as to degrade myself…" he continued looking at her in the eye, feeling an old emotion bubble up his chest as he looked into familiar blue eyes that mirrored his own past pair.

"My age may say otherwise but I stopped being a child when I saw my parents murdered in our burning pathetic excuse for a house…" he spat at the two men before taking a breath and moving for the door again but found himself locked in a firm hold.

Reflexively he moved to reciprocate in a more _deadly _way but managed to reel himself back.

Sighing to himself, he halfheartedly struggle against the hold. _I didn't even do anything but lay on a park bench to relax… _he groaned in his head_ …laying low is becoming troublesome…_

And then he absently heard a small protest from the woman before feeling a needle prick at his arm.

Ciel thought for a second to just let his body destroy whatever it was that was injected in him but quickly decided otherwise.

_This could be fun…_ was his last thoughts as he let the drug stole his consciousness and lay in a heap on the arms of his captor.

"…sorry kid, this is for your own good…" were the last words he knew as darkness swallowed him though never completely.

.

.

.

"Is all these necessary?" Ciel asked perturbed at the amount of boxes stacked in the middle of the still bare living room.

_Living room…?_ The raven thought to himself before scoffing at his own thought. _Admittedly, it is smaller than the mansion's 'living room' but this place is still rather spacious than what is 'normal'…_ he thought as he perused through the maze of boxes, keeping an ear out for the woman's answer.

"…necessary, no… but I can't really bring myself to throw them out, so here they are…" she said with a bright smile.

…_bright and youthful…_ Ciel thought as he looked at the woman resembling his birth mother before turning away with a sigh.

"…you still haven't answered my question at court…" Ciel stated depositing himself onto a Victorian styled divan stretching across the plush furnishing and leaned his side onto the arm rest with his right leg tucked into the other.

.

"…_**why?" Ciel asked as he stood, his form slouched in an exhausted manner.**_

_**The woman looked back and gave him an inquisitive look to continue.**_

"…_**why did you went through all this trouble to acquire custody over me?" he clarified climbing down the steps of the court house to stand just a few steps before her.**_

"…_**because I want to help…" she said simply before walking off to the waiting cab calling for him to hurry on up.**_

_**With a huff, Ciel made his way down the last few steps and joined his 'mother' in the vehicle still mildly surprised at how comfortable the upholstery is at his every car ride.**_

.

"…because of the way you speak." She said simply earning a raised brow from the raven. "…also that." She pointed to his brow. "…your mannerisms suggest that you were born under care and discipline, you're not an illiterate, your manners and etiquette suggest of noble upbringing…" she explained while as he stared, eyes growing dull and emotionless. "…I don't know what happened, but I'm sure the story isn't as simple as you've portrayed." She said with a small smile. "…you don't need to tell me what happened, but please, Let me help give you a new home…" she finished.

_Home…_ he tested the word silently before smiling brokenly. _I don't think I'll ever find such a place… _he thought to himself before giving her a small genuinely sad smile.

"…I guess." He said instead then gave a frown.

"…I'm not gonna help with carrying this stuff all the way upstairs am I?" he asked suddenly which she replied with a hearty laugh.

"No, we'll just set up our own beds tonight and call it a day. There will be staff coming in tomorrow to help us unpack and get settled." She explained, moving to her feet and stretching out the kinks in her muscles before heading off to bed.

Slowly, Ciel followed and gave a last sweep of the cluttered room before climbing up the flight of step to the second floor where only bedrooms are located along with a stray study for the woman.

_Woman… _the thought have him pausing in his step and turning back to the other side of the floor where the woman's room at.

He arrived and found the door still opened wide to his advantage. He stepped closer to the frame of the door and stood there before shuffling his feet and clearing his throat earning the other's attention.

"…goodnight and pleasant dreams." he trailed, hesitating shortly before turning his back to her. "…mother." He tossed to her before quickly making his way to his own room hearing a distant reply of his bid, reluctantly tugging his lips into a small sweet smile for the very first time in a very long while.

.

"…I have to refuse such atrocity." Ciel sniffed before turning and stomping out of the store only to be tugged harshly back to where he's been standing.

"…it's a shirt, Ciel, how is it an atrocity?" Rachel, as Ciel noted her name in a later date with a snort for the unlikely coincidence, asked him in amusement.

"…it is one size too big, the hem reaches down to my thighs unnecessarily and the design is absolutely horrendous…" he counted off with a flat look before addressing the man who mans the shop that was trying to murder him with his eyes. "…didn't mean to offend but _this_…" he accented towards the whole shop before looking back at the young man. "…is not really within my tastes… come now mother, apologize to the good man about your sorry excuse for humor and lets be on our way…" he said easily before turning around yet again and striding quickly outside ignoring the laughter of his mother from behind him.

Once she was outside of the store that Ciel gave one last abhorring look, they made their way towards Tailors, a small shop of British origins that caters to the more sophisticated tastes of Ciel. The demon had already had his eye on the shop quite a while ago and had voiced to his 'mother', the word still made him pause once in a while, and yet the woman just had to bring him to the latest 'fashion' booths in the strip mall they had visited for the much needed shopping for clothes that Ciel lacks in abundance.

A few more minutes of giggling, from his mother, and grumbling in his head, for the dear raven, they arrived in front of the shop. Ciel entered and held the door open for her and let it close behind them.

Ciel roamed the shop, criticizing every display that he found, made quite adequate to his preference. He continued to peruse, not minding his mother poking and prodding at some of the more elaborate garments, mostly the display for tailored dresses and costumes the shop seems to be making upon request and order.

Finally finding himself approving of the display of skill he turned to the woman behind the counter dressed in a typical noble lady dress from the late eighteenth century. He stopped in front of her as she looked down at him.

Curse his still petite height.

"I'd like to have a chat with the owner if possible…" he stated cursing himself when a little bit of his accent slipped through which of course wasn't lost to the bumbling woman that he now call mother.

"Ooh! You're British then!" she exclaimed which he grimace slight at the volume, finding her suddenly too close.

"…in upbringing, yes…" he trailed, no longer bothering on hiding his heritage, moving his gaze back to the girl who seemed to have gone and brought the owner who was now eyeing him with stars in her eyes.

"…You have the perfect form for a dress." The woman who was shorter than him, which admittedly stroked his pride a little back to its former state, said with a dazed smile.

He smiled at her back before frowning, having had registered the meaning of her words. "…pardon?" he asked a little miffed before clearing his throat. He had no time for play time not when his mother insisted on shopping for his other necessities and as well as his school supplies. "…setting that aside, I wish to place an order of-"

"Bring us the best of your designs for modern chic, casual, formal, lounge and nightwear…" Rachel cut him off and stood in front of him with firm resolute.

"Wha-" Ciel tried.

"We will buy three sets of different designs for a full wardrobe…" she continued on ignoring the raven behind her.

"…we have some finished pieces that can accumulate to about thirty casual shirts and fifteen pairs of trousers, ten formal shirts, vests, coat and blazers, as well as dress pants in different cuts, as for lounge clothing as well as nighties, I recommend trying our sister shop that mass produce my designs specializing in lounge and nightwear as well as some undergarments…" the small woman narrated all business and serious looking.

Rachel nodded, just as serious. "…let's see those pieces…" she said moving around the counter to follow the short woman to the back door leaving the cashier and him alone.

"…What just happened?" he asked her, baffled for the first time in a hundred years.

"…she just bought you a whole wardrobe…" the girl replied flatly before sitting on a stool and resting chin on her elbows on the table. "…she your sugar mom?" she asked seriously.

"…adopted mother..." He replied just as serious.

They share a long silence only staring the other down before exchanging approving glances. Clearly they made friends.

.

"She said they'll deliver the packages tonight so let's continue on, there're still lots of things to buy…" Rachel said excitedly as they excited the shop before lighting up as if remembering something. "…though let's stop over to that shop she recommended first."

Groaning, Ciel just trudged on with his mouth shut.

.

"No." Ciel said firmly staring his mother up, literally, down, figuratively, from his perch on the settee the shop provided.

The shop of which caters lots and lots of shoes.

"…Why not?" his mother shot back at him equally firm.

"…the form of the shoe is only for show, it doesn't give enough comfort to the feet and when worn longer than a few hours will suffocate said feet and causes a lot of blisters." He explained.

"But it'll look perfect on the suit that-"

"Mother…" he started getting on his feet. "…there are other designs that may flatter the outfit more… this is not the only dress shoes in this shop." He said with a dead tone. "…and there are lots of shops like this one, we can look someplace else you know." He sighed depositing himself back onto the settee, watching his mother sigh in defeat and went away to find another shoe to show him.

He turned to the salesman beside him. "Isn't there any catalogue to peruse instead of just running around the place looking for the bloody things?" he asked which the man nodded a little shaky at his tone that accidentally dripped with malice.

"I-I'll go ask…" the man squeaked out before scuttling away bringing a sense of fulfillment in the raven.

.

"Notebook and pen…"

"Desktop and Laptop…"

"Notebook and pen…"

"Desktop and Laptop…"

"Notebook and pen…"

"Desktop and Laptop… and that is final Ciel, there are rarely any students that prefer manual way at taking notes, can't believe you do." Rachel stated with a huff planting her foot down on the ground while he stared the boy down who glared in defiance.

"I like my calligraphy…" he said in a weak defense that brought a smile to the woman's face

"Then I'll buy you a planner and fountain pen as well, but we are buying you a house PC, Laptop and digital tablet…" she said swiftly then strode inside the shop leaving a sighing raven behind.

"Wait…" he paused and went after her. "…You didn't say anything about a damn tablet!" he screeched at her who only ignored him.

"Oh, a phone as well, hmm accessories with it too… then a laptop bag, also…" he rattled off to the teller.

"Mother, listen to me!" he screeched once again which fell to deaf ears, again.

"Lucky kid…" another staff said under his breath with a dreamy sigh. "Wish my mom bought me stuff back then…" he said wistfully.

.

_I NEVER want to do that again…_ thought Ciel as he flopped down onto the plush sofa that now was situated tastefully in adjacent the fireplace and across the 'big ass TV' they bought that same day, that was now only being put up by the specialist of the shop they bought it from.

He sat and watched idly as they set up the massive devise with some other installments that went around the room as well. Absently he saw a few more people come in and set up all the other things that they ordered earlier before standing up and making his way to the kitchen which was just being emptied of the technicians that installed the dishwasher, garbage disposal, some appliances and the espresso machine that he immediately went over to. It was the only luxury item he begged, no just _asked_, for.

And then the digital house clock announced the twenty-first hour of the evening making Ciel realize they haven't had lunch after breakfast even dinner yet. Making himself useful, he went to the fridge and opened it finding it empty.

Sighing he poked his head out into the living room and called out. "Mom, we've got no groceries for us to cook!"

"Got that covered!" she called back letting in some men that were carrying boxes and some pushing carts through the door. "Leave them by the pantry boys…" she instructed with a smile before turning to the raven. "Be a dear and show them where Ciel!" she called out to him.

Nodding he showed the three men towards the rather large pantry and helped carry a few boxes as they finished in a three trips back.

"Thank you for the help boys!" she exclaimed, handing them fifty dollars each for some tip. And a courtesy roll of the eye from the raven.

.

"Thank you for the food!" Rachel exclaimed ecstatic at the wonderful dinner they had had with the raven as the chef to thank for. "Compliments to the chef!" she called over to him as he finished washing the last of the utensils he used.

"Noted…" He said simply before setting a small teacup in front of her and sitting across the table with a cup of his own nodding absently at the woman's gratitude.

Slowly, he blew on the cup and raised it to his lips and took a sip.

"Have I mentioned? School's starting tomorrow…"

And promptly, he choked.

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**A/N: Ah~ Let's end it there for now… this story is a bit slow if you'd notice but I will try to write longer every chapter to compensate for the slow bringing of the plot which basically is angsty romance…**

**See you soon at the next update and remember to R&R.**

**Can anyone guess what's in the next chapter?**


	3. Mr Sebastian

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"**How did it go again…? that, uh…" **a redhead nuisance thought out loud before breaking into a hum. **"How the mighty have fallen? Was that it?" **he asked his stern prim and proper colleague beside him.

"**Does not the word silence register in that brain of yours Sutcliff… or do you simply enjoy infuriating me with your gabbles?" **was the answer to his troubles. The man gave a sigh and again habitually fixed his perfectly placed glassed perched on his nose. **"Now then, I would hate to address a vermin but we need answers…" **he paused as again he fixed his glasses before sneering harder at the 'vermin' he spoke to. **"I think you bold if it were your first time intruding upon us. You're a fool to think to do it a second time. Now, what could possibly be so important for a demon to force its way in here when there is nothing of merit for you to find…?"** he hummed extending his staff of a scythe to tilt the other's chin.

"**Demon or no, you keep everything in record." **Was the broken speech the other spoke through the pooling blood and spit from his mouth as he struggled to breathe through the agony of the injuries the 'gods' inflicted him upon his 'entry'. **"I want to know, where Ciel is…" **he said through a few small coughs that turned into hacking.

Swiftly, the scythe was whipped away with a grimace from the man holding it as he produced a sparkling white kerchief and wiped the tip of his spotless scythe clean before throwing the 'soiled' cloth to the now bowed over demon. **"We do not have any obligation to let you see his book. Be thankful that we do not allow killings within this realm. Be warned that should you commit a third offense then we have full authority to **_**exterminate**_** you."** He said before turning again to his abnormally quiet subordinate. **"Escort him **_**out**_** this time Sutcliff, and bring your reports of last month too after…" **he said dismissively before turning on his heel leaving the two alone.

"**I haven't even typed them yet~" **whined the redhead. **"Always the slave driver that Will, though that's one of his good points…"** he said to himself with a lewd smile before turning to the man still chained against the wall bowed over to face him. **"Well let's get you out then, sorry to say this Sebas-chan, but I can't help you… seeing you like this is a complete turn off to me…" **he said cheerily before tapping his, again, substitute scythe staff on the floor where a portal materialized and slowly swallowed the weakened demon. Swiftly as if on afterthought he freed the man from his bonds as the portal glowed and swiftly sucked the demon's form into it. **"Love turned you so ugly 'Sebastian'." **He murmured to the empty cell with a wicked smirk before shrugging and prancing on his merry way to yet again get a lecture from his beloved superior.

**.**

**.**

**.**

There was a constant knocking.

Well in actuality, the soft thumping couldn't even be deemed as such but to the ears of a demon, it was enough to sound as banging echoing through the small house the so called demon was staying at.

"Yes! I heard you the first five times! Can't you take a hint and go away?" asked the red headed demon rhetorically as he stomped towards his front door, trying to fix his barely clothed self.

"I swear, I'll fucking eat you if you turn out to be a fucking beggar looking for food and shelter-" he cut off as he took in the image of a demon he knows as long as the sun shone down on the earth.

"**What the bloody fuck happened to you?" **asked the red head reverting to the demonic voice they practice centuries to hide as he pulled the bloodied mess on his porch upright and in his front door.

"…**libr...ra…ry…"** was the broken reply of the heap of bloodied limbs before a furious cough racked his body causing him to convulse in painful shivering.

"**Oh for all the evil… you broke into the library… on your own? I thought you were crazy before, but this is just pushing it C-" **

"**THAT is not MY name!"** the wounded demon bellowed with wrath burning in his eyes as he glared the other down.

"**Right…"** the other complied quickly releasing his hold onto the demon and backing out a few steps back. Wounded or not, this demon is one of the most powerful there is in existence. And he didn't want to clean more blood off the cobble stone tiles. That's a bitch to take out.

"**Sebastian… what were you doing in the library of all places anyways?"** he inquired moving further in his house and kneeling down to a shivering half naked human in the middle of his rug in front of the hearth. He reached out and lightly pulled the man to sit up and devoured his lips hungrily.

"…**Ciel…"** was all Sebastian could manage easing himself down onto the cobblestoned floor.

"**Ah yes, the new chick of a demon…" **the other nodded in remembrance before turning back to the man and slowly snipped at a blue wisp like substance he pulled from the others mouth. The man writhed into the rug right after the snip and went limp but still breathing.

"**You're looking for the kid?" **asked the red head as he brought the small wisp like substance to the panting demon and offered it right in front of the other's face.

Sebastian turned his head and cradled it in his arms, refusing the offered food.

"**Hey, hey… you're actually starving yourself?"** asked the redhead with a raise of brow before slurping up the wisp and gulping it down.

"…**can't hold it down…" **Sebastian murmured as he found a comfortable spot on the floor and slowly started drifting off.

"**C-cant' hold it down?" **the redhead sputtered out and gaped as the other was slowly drifting to _sleep_. **"And you're sleeping?"** he screeched some more.

"**It's the only way to get back my strength these late few months…" **Sebastian answered softly in a full sentence already regaining a few of his strengths.

"**Oh my G- err, fuck… you're dying…" **gaped the redhead.

"**I know…" **snapped Sebastian with a weak glare.

"**No, I mean you're transitioning into a mortal…" **said the other matter of fact as he settled himself beside the now sleeping human on the rug.

"…**What?"** the raven asked lifting his head slightly to stare at the redhead who gave him a careless shrug.

"**Oh well it's no wonder you don't know, you never were inclined to such topics…" **the redhead shrugged **"It happens, very rarely, but it does happen…"** he continued giving Sebastian a cruel smirk. **"It only happens to demons that falls in love…"** he said with a gleeful grin at the widening of the other's eyes.

"**I-" **Sebastian choked, lost for words as his mind wrapped around the idea.

The redhead huffed out a laugh. **"Better find Ciel quick, you need to kill him before the process finishes or else you'd be living the rest of your life as a human…" **he taunted with a wild grin.

"**But, he said… he said he loves me…"** the raven murmured so quietly, human ears would've missed it entirely, not the redhead though who only gave a bark of short laughter.

"**When…?" **asked the redhead with a manic grin.

Giving a chilling glare to the amused demon Sebastian answered begrudgingly in a defeated tone. **"One, two…? …centuries ago…?"**

"**And your answer was?" **inquired the manic demon.

"…**no." **Sebastian answered ducking his head back into his arms.

"**That explains it then… you sealed the deal on him becoming a full pledged demon. Remember, we exist for we harbor darkness… and you just gave the boy a full dose of darkness to burden for the rest of eternity then some…" **the redhead threw his head back and laughed at the raven earning a warning growl that he ignored with a flick of the wrist. **"I can't help you though…"**

"…" the raven was silent as he bowed his head onto the floor tucked between his arms.

"**I need to have met someone to be able to track them down… and you; dear Sebastian has not yet introduced the little one to me yet…" **hummed the other as he combed the human's hair tenderly.

Sebastian lifted his head a bit to peer at the redhead silently.

"**You never visit Sebastian, only when you need something done…" **he cut off flippantly not even tossing a slight glance towards the raven.

Easing his head back down, Sebastian sighed and closed his eyes, exhausted for the past few months of hunger and slow deterioration.

"**So~ what will you do if you find little newbie?" **the redhead asked through his thin malicious smile.

"**I'm not going to kill him if that's what you're wondering…" **Sebastian replied with a tired voice and forced his consciousness to sleep, not wanting to hear the other's voice any longer.

The redhead hummed with lips tugged into a sickening smile. **"You can try Sebastian, but your demon will try its damn hardest not to die…" **he whispered into the room caressing the human still. **"It will move to eliminate the one threatening its existence…"** he said some more with a gleeful smile. **"Best of luck dearest brother…"** he whispered last before drifting to a luxurious sleep.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"**Have a safe journey brother! And earn some money! You'd need a roof over your head when you go to sleep! Trust me, there's a world's difference between sleeping inside from out!" **the redhead shouted after his brother while the other continued on his way without a look back clad in more colors that his usual black and white attire, courtesy of course of the redheaded demon.

"**Of course you do…" **Sebastian said under his breath sarcastically before bending his knees and took off leaving nothing but a slight deep indent of a footprint from where he's been leaving his recluse of a brother continue his hermitage.

**.**

**.**

**.**

Sebastian walked through the streets of London in England. It seems to his eyes, there have been nothing yet plenty of change in different contexts.

He continued to walk aimlessly, clueless on where to begin his search. He came to this place, only because it was familiar. It was a place where Ciel frequented most when they were still together. Often enough he'd find the boy atop of one of the buildings, looking down onto the streets at night when he's in no mood to take demon lessons from Sebastian.

Pausing in front of a store, named 'Phantomhive Sweets' a small smile tugged at his lips, this one not as broken as he's used to.

_This probably is the last store in all of England, maybe even the world…_ he thought fondly before entering the shop and looked around.

The products were the same, same candy, chocolate, hard pops, jellies, and many more. Though newly made, the same shape, color and designs of them never changed. It seems as if time has stopped in this little store. Miraculously enough it stayed afoot, even after centuries of changes.

"Are you looking for something in particular young one…" an old voice called out in a raspy raised voice.

Turning he saw an elderly Elizabeth copy. He knew she had to be her descendant. The eyes were hers, full of childlike wonder. The hair, though grayed completely was the same curls she had.

_This woman could have also been Ciel's_-

He cut off that thought as he felt a painful stab in his chest and gave his usual perfect smile. "No not really, just browsing through… everything seems so authentic…" he trailed as he swept his gaze through the shop slowly pausing at a portrait of the boy, or maybe man, he was searching for.

"Quite a sight he is ain't he?" the woman said with a small smile as she gazes upon the portrait. "…want to hear a mad story?" the woman asked yet allowed him no time to respond. "That boy appeared here in this shop once long ago, he was just standing there in front of the portrait, staring up at his splitting image before he turned to me with a nostalgic seeming smile then vanished when I blinked my eyes…" she retold with a wistful smile. "…I was but a lass of barely teen when it happened, and foolishly I thought of him coming back a few years later and whisking me away to marry me…" she let out a soft aged laugh. "…it was all a childish fantasy and I knew it, and yet I couldn't leave this place. In the end this place gave me my husband, my three daughters and a son. I'm grateful to him, real or not, for making my decision to stay. Give him my gratitude if you'd please…" she said to him softly.

Turning his head sharply to look to the woman he found only an empty space.

"Excuse me? Are you looking for any particulars?" a small voice asked him from behind.

He turned and found a brunette teen with familiar brilliant green eyes yet foreign features from a stranger.

"No, I was just browsing…" he said softly, almost a whisper before looking back up to the portrait. "…on second thought, may I ask, if you'd be willing to sell this piece to me?" he asked the teen who furrowed her brows and scurried off to a backdoor with a hurried murmur for him to wait.

A few minutes later came the teen towing an aged man of late seventies as they walked slow easy steps. They paused before a rocking chair by the counter and the teen gestured for him to come closer.

He did and sat onto a stool provided by the teen with a grateful nod to her accepting a can of juice she retrieved from the backroom.

"She said you'd come sooner or later…" the man said suddenly earning his attention readily.

"She…?" he asked tentatively palming the cold can in his hands.

"Yes, my wife… she'd always say things incomprehensible to me, sometimes stare off into space, startle at a barely loud noise and more often than not cry in front of that portrait at least once in a day…" he said with a wearied cough in the end of his sentence. "She was a most peculiar lass and I love her nonetheless… she told me you were coming for that portrait at her deathbed; asked me to say sorry to you for not being the one to return it."

"How did you know it was me she was talking about?" asked the demon who decided to occupy his shaking hands by opening the can and sipping from it distractedly.

"She said a man of black hair and eyes of russet would come asking for it. And for so long, twenty years I think, you are the only man with the description to ask for it, hell you _are_ the only one to ask for it for so long." he said with an upbeat voice.

There was a long pause between them as Sebastian broke the silence softly with his small sips of the now lukewarm juice.

"Take it, so that finally, she can rest…" the man said eyes falling shut. "It's yours now…" he said softly as slowly he breathed his last breath.

The teen beside them shook the man lightly before her breath hitched and she stood shakily towards the phone while as Sebastian stood and went over to the portrait, heaving it effortlessly and disappeared before the teen finished her call leaving behind a note of gratitude written in flowing old English script with his silver butler pin to ease even just the burden of expenses for the family left behind.

Staggering to a stop a few blocks down the road, Sebastian leaned against the alley wall he had stumbled into and took a ragged breath. He looked down to his hand and ungloved it, shaking as he did so. He watched breathing shallow breaths as his skin flushed with color tinging his normally snow white skin with pink, the color of life; a fleeting vulnerable life.

An odd laugh broke from his throat as he gazed up into the blue sky as he whispered. **"What use is this life You'll give me if he is not by my side?"** he asked to the heavens before pushing off the wall and continuing on, to where, he doesn't know.

But one thing is sure in his mind.

'_I'll find you Ciel, no matter what it takes'_

"Ara, Shitsuji-san, what a sight you are after all this time…" an amused yet dull sounding voice said from behind him. Slowly, the raven turned and came to face a silver haired green eyed retired god of death. "I knew you'd fall for him soon enough…" he added, with a twisted grin bringing a long sleeved cover hand to his lips in a habit to hide his wicked grin.

"Afternoon… good butler, Mr. Sebastian…" the other greeted with an exaggerated mock bow.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**A/N: I have no excuse to give…**


End file.
